Today is a day that I knew would be hard. Today would have been Chris’s 47th birthday. Chris didn’t even like celebrating birthdays, but we sure loved celebrating him. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t miss him, and today that longing for him is definitely stronger. This year I know that Chris is celebrating his birthday in his heavenly home, and I couldn’t think of a sweeter place to celebrate.
Our last birthday celebration with Chris was probably my favorite. We spent the evening at home as a family, and when Chris got home from work we surprised him with bundtinis from Nothing Bundt Cake in a variety of flavors. Chris’s favorite was the lemon, mine is the red velvet, and the kids just want them all. We sang happy birthday around the kitchen island and Zeke finished it off with birthday spankings in true Zeke fashion. This is such a sweet memory now that I’m going to hold onto.
If the big kids were with me tonight we would be going out to eat and then continuing the bundtini tradition, but they are at their dads so I opted for something else. I knew today would be hard, so I wanted to make sure I was busy and surrounding myself with loved ones and good support. I scheduled doctors appointments for Zeke today so I could take off work and spend the day with him, and tonight I will go to MOPS for a couple hours to be surrounded by Christian mommas who will no doubt love on me, lift me up in prayer, be there for hugs. I couldn’t not have a bunt cake today for Chris so it will be waiting for me at home to have for dessert after MOPS.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t fearful of all the emotions that will come today, because I already know how hard those birthdays are without your loved ones. However, I rejoice in knowing that I have nothing to fear, because Chris is celebrating with God, and fear is a liar!
Fear is a Liar 
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