Ink Therapy

According to Urban Dictionary ink therapy is “The action of being tattooed to achieve a therapeutic release.” Yesterday I was definitely due for some ink therapy. It had been two years since I completed my half sleeve, and I have been itching to start on completing the rest of my sleeve. It seemed fitting that the date my artist was able to get me in was on the 3 month anniversary of losing my love, since this session included a memorial piece for Chris.

I had already been planning how to finish out my sleeve for the past six months or so. I had been pinning all my ideas to my tattoo board on Pinterest, and one of the pieces I had decided on, prior to losing Chris, was a cute little cabin in the mountains. This was a nod to our retirement plans of living in the mountains, off the grid, in a remote cabin only to be found by those we wanted to find us.

After Chris passed I knew I wanted to work this into a memorial piece for him. After thinking and searching, I fell in love with a cute set of postcards with a cabin in the mountains on one side, and a message on the other side saying “Wish you were here”. In the address section I added Chris’s name and the date he went to his heavenly home. Of course the rest of the sleeve has many other meaningful pieces as well, that I promise I will share as soon as it is all completed. Today was mainly outlines and the beginning of color on a few pieces. I’ll be back to finish it out in a couple of weeks.

Chris had sat with me, holding my hand, bringing me food, and just keeping me company, through most of the almost 20 hours of tattooing, over three sessions, that it took to complete the upper half sleeve. My artist Audrey remembered him well and truly made this memorial piece come to life and created exactly what I envisioned. Audrey has a true gift for her craft of tattooing. She can take my ideas and weave them together into such a beautiful piece of art. For the most part I tell her what I want and then she creates it, I approve the placement, and then the rest of the magic is all her. She picks all my colors and her work is never short of amazing.

I was at Arsenal for 8 hours yesterday as Audrey started the magic of completing my sleeve. It was definitely different this time not having someone by my side to hold my hand, joke around, and fill the conversation with infinite pop culture references. Yesterday’s session was much more quite as I spent a lot of the time in deep thought about how much my life has changed in the last 2 years since the last time I was there. My heart was full as I thought about all the adventures, laughter, and love that we shared in that time. I also thought about the future; what my retirement might look like now; what the future will hold; and about my next adventure, which I fly out to today.

I could easily choose to succumb to the fear of traversing the things we previously did together, the adventures, and the future plans alone, BUT I REFUSE. I refuse to be fearful because although I definitely don’t know what’s to come in the future, I know without a doubt who does. I know that God’s plans are perfect, and fear is a liar.