Return to Church and a Need for Normalcy

Today was my first time to step foot into church since this whole pandemic shut down started back in March. Last weekend was the first time some of the children’s services opened back up, which is what I had been waiting on. I registered us for church early in the week to ensure we had a spot, but even doing so early, Zeke’s class was already full. The big kids were overjoyed as we piled into Big Betty White, our beloved 12 passenger van, and started the drive to church. You could feel their excitement exuding from them as they chattered the entire way there about what activities they would do and who they would see. I drove with anticipation and hope for some sort of a return to normalcy by starting my week with the in-person church service I have been yearning to have for months.

As we parked and all eagerly exited the van my heart was at least for a brief moment feeing full as we walked up to church. However, as we approached the door the new normal hit me like a ton of bricks. The handshakes, hugs, and high fives I love so much from our greeting team had been replaced with mask, muffled hellos, and the question “have you pre-registered?”. I smiled, even though it was hidden by my mask, and said “yes” as I proceeded to scan the QR code in my phone app at the check in kiosk. The kiddos had their temperatures checked as they entered their classrooms, and I made my way to the sanctuary. I was met by an usher who asked “how many in your party”, as if she were the hostess at a restaurant, and then showed me to my socially distant seat for the service. As I settled into my seat, I second guessed if I would actually be able to drink my coffee or not, and then slowly looked around to see if I could see anyone else doing so. I was relieved to see a sweet elderly woman a few rows up remove her mask just long enough to sip her coffee and replace it. I followed suit, then began to look around. I noted the rows which had been moved to double the space in between, the masks worn by all, and the multiple ushers helping people to their seats. I tried not to let the disappointment well up in me as I waited for the service to start.

As the band started up their set I began to feel my walls I had built up start to shake. Despite singing behind a mask, I could feel that familiar feeling of God working on me, as He has done so many times before, through music ministry. I felt the tingles on my arms as I sang louder and raised my hands while singing that joyful noise for the heavens to hear. As we finished and transitioned into the message I pondered if God would do like He has done over and over again, and have a message built to speak directly to my soul; the answer was quick. Today’s message was based on a passage from Psalms about darkness and knowing God is there through the darkness. It couldn’t have been a more timely message, and as has been true so many times before, was exactly what I needed to hear today.

My take a away from today was that although going back to church today wasn’t exactly the return to normalcy that I had hoped for; it was exactly what I needed. I left church feeling refreshed, renewed, and ready to tackle this week, and the darkness that will surely be lingering around, with a better attitude and appreciation for the new normal.